I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Randomize
