It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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