So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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