I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
