I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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