Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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