Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
