in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
