my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
