Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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