Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
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all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
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i've created a new STD.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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