Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
you never un-have a 4some
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
