i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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