Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
