God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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