In the future we'll all be gay
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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