Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
