she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
