Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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