Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
