and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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