from now on my penis is your penis
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
