I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
