it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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