I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
