I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
