You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize