3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
