the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
