I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
