She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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