Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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