i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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