At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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