i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
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He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
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she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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