Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Yo dont text me then not text me
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
