i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
