I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
