Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
