nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
