Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
