The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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