i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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