Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
