Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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