): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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