I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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