Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I hope my margaritas pass through security.

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(510): View more from California

I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college

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(419): View more from Ohio

We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.

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(435): View more from Utah

I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.

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(208): View more from Idaho

the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature

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(813): View more from Florida

The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF

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