Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
