i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
