i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize