I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
