actually, I'm a sock model
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
