we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
What a dumb baby whore.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
