craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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