He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Randomize
