I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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